I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's always time for handjobs
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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