I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
