im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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