he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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