we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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