are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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