just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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