she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
