i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize