Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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