Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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