i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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