After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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