either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
