My sheets look like a crime scene.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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