hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
