her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize