I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize