Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This girl is more easily done than said...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
