Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
