I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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