theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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