U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
