You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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