It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize