then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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