my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
