I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize