I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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