btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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