she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
