can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
