Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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