so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
