You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
