He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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