yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
