the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
