Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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