i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
