party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
