So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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