If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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