Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
