I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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