I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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