yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She bit a glass in half.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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