i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
