Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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