6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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