found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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