It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
