it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
