I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize