I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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