i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize