put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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