i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
