he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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